Well, about 3 weeks ago, I was happily playing with my son and dog.(wholsome family entertainment you might say) When I did something really stupid. I leaned over while my son was perched on my shoulders. All his weight went to my neck, the pain was immediate and intense, all I could do was lean over and deposit the boychild on the couch. I went to work.
Pain, Pain, and yet more Pain. It was Friday, so I struggled through and went home. By monday, i was in enough pain to humble myself and goto the Dr., Pills and rest. Go back to work and do something even stupider, yes I said stupider, I went to work and ran a floor stripper. this is a machine with a blade on the front that vibrates, alot. Bad move. Woke up Sunday and couldnt move my head. stupid stupid stupid One x-ray, a MRI, and 2 visits to the Dr. later, and I have a ruptured disc and degeneration of two more. this sucks. But Iam feeling much better now, and the pain pills and muscle relaxers are the best. Here is a picture of the nice traction thingy I have to wear twice a day for a month. Fun Fun Fun

When I went to work at my current job some 9 years ago, I was young, energetic, happy, always smiling, thoughtful, and, well, I was a pretty decent chap.

Now, when I greet someone at work, it is usually with a grunt and a wave of dismissal.
I have taken on the attributes that I always despised in other people.
I talk about others behind their back.
I get happiness from others pain.
I have no respect for my bosses.
I dread walking in the door in the mornings, looking for a reason to stay home and veg.
I put my nose into things that are none of my buisness, and I gossip.

In short, I suck, and have become what I resent most.
I am also capable of changing this pattern, because Im also a very good person inside, I just have to peel away the layers of callousness that have built up over the years, not easy, I know, however, lets look at the good things I have accomplished over the past few years, shall we?

Quit drinking nearly 5 years ago. (recovering alky here)
Quit smoking 2 years ago (Im 35 in January, started when I was 11 you do the math)
Quit taking Ephedrine 1 year ago. (seriously addicted to that shit, Asthma was my excuse)

So, all in all, I can turn this around.
Ive done it before.
Every day is a new beginning.
Every corner, a tiny moment of truth.
Wish me luck.